I think of all dating shows Love Island has the strongest potential to be the best one. A lot of it comes down to how dynamic and underproduced it actually can be. In earlier seasons they were willing to take chances and change up the series, but for a while now they seem very stuck in the way the show works, which also means any future contestant knows exactly what is coming too. Their combination of Big Brother antics, MTV level drama, an added sprinkle of cheesiness and hilarious narration makes it almost perfection. However, overproduction and the incentive of social media fame has caused it to lose a lot of its charm and authenticity in my opinion. This isn’t an issue that Love Island faces alone as most dating shows are in this crisis (read what I said about VPR this season and you’ll see even they can’t escape it). Unfortunately I don’t really have much of a solution for any of this, I’m just letting you know what I’ve noticed. Also I’ve lied to you, I won’t actually be ranking ALL of Love Island, but only the seasons and characters I’ve seen, so I wanted to let you know why I’ve stopped watching the recent seasons before we get into all of that.
Seasons Ranking: (UK 1-8, AU 1-4, and US 2)
US season 2 (2020)
My least favorite Love Island season (hence only watching the one, although Ariana hosting has tempted me to give it a second try). The Americans trying to use the British slang is very cringe, the cast was pretty meh (excluding Justine), and having it in Vegas felt really odd. It was definitely a lockdown watch that I appreciated at the time, but nothing memorable at all.
AU season 3 (2021)
Another lockdown season (their Summer is our Winter keep in mind) and another snooze. I know I watched this season, but to write this I had to google far too much meaning it clearly wasn’t very memorable. The only thing that pushes it above US is the accents. Oh and they have Sophie Monk hosting, who is the best host in my humble opinion (excluding Maya, but I haven’t watched any of her seasons).
AU season 4 (2022)
By this point we are fully into the overproduced era and not even Aus can escape that. Again a pretty plain season. The boost for this one comes from one really cute couple and the first time islanders had come back for a second season (and they were the winners of season three who had broken up in the real world). Unfortunately, even that couldn’t make the season kick off.
UK season 7 (2021)
The worst original line up ever. Not necessarily as individuals, but there was no chemistry, whether romantic or platonic. It could be down to coming out of lockdown, but still it felt very produced and very inorganic. There was some memorable drama, but it wasn’t as fun because it just felt very tense and heavy.
UK season 6 (2020)
No one wants to watch Love Island in the winter time. This actually worked out well by accident though; due to covid they didn’t have a summer season, but if they had it would be way too much Love Island. Even though this season had some memorable moments and interesting cast relationships, the Molly Mae effect had clearly started to take place. (The Molly Mae effect is a reference to the monetary and influencing success of the season five contestant, Molly Mae, which forever changed how potential islanders would view and act on the show.)
UK season 1 (2015)
A glorious mess. The fights were bigger, the sex was constant, there was seemingly no producer intervention, and someone got engaged. You can skip right to season 2 if you’re wanting to get into older UK seasons because this kinda feels like a different show.
AU season 2 (2019)
A very cute cast overall. Some strong personalities, some strong couplings, some lesbians, and some twins; some is a good word for this season. There were some things happening, but not nearly enough.
AU season 1 (2018)
This season had some really great drama and a mad move by Cassidy that I don’t even think Ekin Su would pull. It showed great promise for the new franchise, but timing wise the Molly Mae effect would unfortunately be felt even in a different continent and hemisphere.
UK season 8 (2022)
Speaking of Ekin, if it wasn’t for her and Davide season 8 would probably be unwatchable. Full on bullying, boring relationships, and awkward islanders season 8 was the last shot Love Island got from me.
UK season 2 (2016)
The perfect combination of season one and three. As chaotic as season one with a bit more structure, and a really strong bond between the islanders and less worry about after-island fame which were both big reasons for season three’s success, season two is an underrated jewel. Really memorable moments (Zara losing her crown, sex ABOVE the covers, Made in Chelsea rejects), two success stories, and… (sorry I just can’t stop thinking of more memorable moments, it’s wild they aired this on tv.)
UK season 4 (2018)
A pretty decent cast that seemed have “banter” and chemistry, and very little indication that the islanders are aware of how famous they could be when they come out (read they seem to still be authentic to themselves and unafraid to show it al). The romantic relationships were just as prominent as the drama and there was still a lot of fun, light moments in between. Overall it may have been a bit more boring than some seasons, but I’ll take it over inauthenticity, intense, dark drama, and fame chasing.
UK season 5 (2019)
The last really, really good season of Love Island UK (unfortunately the success of it’s contestants is likely the downfall of the show overall). Producers were still willing to try a few small new twists, but this seasons success really came down to some really great individual islanders. I put it that way because the cast overall didn’t have great chemistry, but there were some amazing characters and groupings. The drama did last until the very final moments as the islanders (mainly the boys) were uncomital, indecisive, and easily swayed by horrible, terrible advice.
UK season 3 (2017)
The best cast charisma, the perfect balance of drama and humor, genuine relationships and fake people, just the right amount of producing, no one was concerned about being a huge influencer which made them all seem more authentic. It’s the best season and unfortunately I doubt it will ever be topped.
Favorite Islanders: (in no particular order)
Cara (UK 2) - Proper funny, really down to earth, incredibly ahead of her time, and takes no shit. Also that laugh.
Olivia (UK 3) - Did Olivia put Love Island on the map? Her humor, her kick offs, her friendship, and eventually her willingness to be vulnerable with love all makes her a diamond. She is a huge part of the reason why season three is my favorite, because she embodies Love Island to me.
Camilla (UK 3) - The explosive ordnance disposal specialist was not your typical islander, but she maybe gained the most from the experience. Not only did she find her true love, but her growth was so beautiful to watch. To see someone not just come out of their shell, but shatter it and start to truly embrace all the parts of themselves is something extraordinary.
Kem and Chris (UK 3) - The best duo to ever grace the villa, I couldn’t possibly split them up. Seriously, though we could really use some friendships at their level again.
Samira (UK 4) - She deserved so much more. So charming, even with her unremarkable flirting, she was great television. The biggest girls girl and a full blown star.
Jack (UK 4) - I may just be really attracted to him, but he seems like so much fun.
Amber (UK 5) - What a fucking gem. She got screwed over, handled it incredibly, and won the show basically all on her own. Her growth was on par with Camilla’s and stunning to watch. Also funny.
Maura (UK 5) - Olivia walked so Maura could run. Probably thee most memorable islander ever. Between her humor, facial expressions, and Irish charm, Maura’s brashness worked it’s way into all of our hearts. If only she’d never got with Curtis, truly baffling.
Francesca, Chris, and Ovie (UK 5) - The unsung heroes of season five, in my mind they kept up the energy, the fun, and the overall vibes in a season that could’ve gotten pretty dark towards the end. Also they are all stunning (Fran’s eyebrows, wow)!
Paige (UK 6) - I think I just really wanna be friends with her.
Siânnise (UK 6) - I started out thinking she was really up herself, but as the show went on I grew to love her. She’s so well spoken and thoughtful, but also isn’t afraid to stand up for herself and her friends.
Chloe (UK 7) - I quote her “no whey” at least once a week. At times she was the only one that made the season watchable.
Millie (UK 7) - I think Millie is actually a cool girl, like not an “i’m a cool girl” like she’s actually just cool.
Cassidy (AU 1) - fucking savage.
Taku (AU 3) - You just know he smells amazing and gives the best hugs.
Phoebe (AU 4) - Do I want to be her or do I want to date her?
Cutest Couples: (spoilers for where they are now) (inpo)
Cara and Nathan (UK 2) - married with kids
Alex and Olivia (UK 2) - married with kids
Jamie and Camilla (UK 3) - married with kids
Josh and Kaz (UK 4) - split after 6 months
Finn and Paige (UK 6) - split after 3 years
Chloe and Toby (UK 7) - split after a year
Josh and Amelia (AU 1) - split after 4 years
Anna and Josh (AU 2) - split after a year
Phoebe and Mitch (AU 4) - still together
Least Favorite Islanders: (the ones that come right to mind at least) (inpo)
Terry (UK 2) - The first proper villain in my mind, he also had time to redeem himself and just didn’t. Sorry Tel, maybe don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Jonny (UK 3) - My least favorite islander EVER. Major game player and not in a fun way. Misogynist. His use of Camilla and disregard for her feelings was utterly disgusting. Also he has a very punchable face (not that i condone violence, just noting it).
Eyal (UK 4) - Major eye roll, the spirituality smells of bullshit and the misogyny reeks even stronger. You are not entitled to sex even if you’re with someone.
Dr. Alex (UK 4) - Everyone deserves love, but no one is entitled to it. Also his treatment of Alexandra was disgraceful, especially given how she was basically served to him on a silver platter.
Adam (UK 4 and 8) - If you look up the term gaslighter in the dictionary his picture will be right there. Not sure his redemption season did what he was hoping for either.
Georgia (UK 4) - She’s not loyal babe, she’s just annoying.
Curtis (UK 5) - I get full body cringe every time I think of him. The game playing of Jonny, plus the pretend gentlemanliness of Alex, add a dash of Terry’s comfortableness with betrayal and you get Curtis.
Destiny’s Chaldish: Jordan, Michael, and Danny (UK 5) - Honestly, even though these boy’s actions pissed me off they aren’t really my least favorites, but you really gotta hand them a villain card for perfecting the Chaldish methods on this show.
Connor (UK 6): Just so controlling and overbearing, and I think he got dumped after like the first week so it’s even crazier that he still comes to mind.
Callum (UK 6): If you don’t like somebody, don’t lead them on. It is mean and you will hurt them.
Hugo (UK 7): On the gross level of Curtis and Jonny for me. he tried to play the Dr. Alex role but had not an ounce of charm and not a single friend. I wish he was never on tv.
Jake (UK 7): This boy knows more about love island then I do, so he thought he knew exactly how to play it, unfortunately for him we all saw right through it, and luckily so did his “giiiirrrrrlfriend.”
Jacques (UK 8): Manipulative, misogynistic, and maybe dated a 17 year old when he was 21, so yeah he’s gross.
Luca (UK 8): Never have I ever seen a boy be this disgusting to a girl he’s not even coupled up with. Not only was his behavior towards Tasha vomit inducing, his controlling and overbearingness of Gemma was way too intense.
Grant (AU 1): Really great at pitting girls against each other when he’s screwed them both over, also just kinda slimy.
Aaron (AU 3): This one is weak, but I just really didn’t like his vibe. Definitely some Luca vibes to him, but also there is something else I can’t put my finger on. Sorry Aaron maybe you’re class, but I guess I’ll never know.
Fun Random Things:
Mackenzie from US 2 briefly dated Carl from Summer House
Maura was almost a Casa Amor girl instead of a bombshell (can you imagine?)
Producers wanted to cast Gemma a year earlier, when she was only 18
A lot of early UK contestants have gone on to docu-reality series (TOWIE, Made in Chelsea, and Geordie Shore)
Scouted islanders usually have famous family members or exes, but they don’t want famous people on the show
There are way more people ready to enter the villa then actually do
It’s actually really boring most of the time (there used to be a smoking area and games in the villa, but those have both left so there isn’t really much to do)
Narrator Iain Stirling has a law degree and is married to UK 6-8 presenter Laura Whitmore
Apparently it’s way harder to find men who want to go into the American version
One of Lisa Rinna’s daughters dated Eyal because her sister thought they’d be perfect together after watching the show. If my sister told me Eyal was perfect for me, I’d need to make some serious character changes.
Okay I lied again. Since you’ve made it to the end of all this waffling on I will give you one idea I think could be a fun switch up. Something that’s been an integral part of the series since the third season is Casa Amor. This is when they split up the islanders by gender, sending them to separate villas with an entirely new group of islanders of the opposite sex (a mini Temptation Island if you will). This has consistently been a source of drama with some great moments coming out of it, however, it’s been done to death now. My idea is rather than splitting the islanders up by gender you just split the couples up, mixing the genders of both the old islanders and new arrivals. For example in season five Curtis and Maura would be in the same villa, but Amy would be sent to the other one. This might allow for people to act upon temptations they already had in the villa, but wouldn’t feel comfortable acting upon before the split. It also would solve the problem Liam on season seven seemed to cause where he cheated in Casa Amor, yet stayed loyal in the recoupling and managed to win the series. Would he have cheated if Millie’s best friend Chloe was still in the villa with him. I think this would be an interesting twist to a staple and I hope I’ve explained it well enough. Love Island producers if you're reading this I need absolutely no compensation for this idea, just make a better show.
PS
They also need to up the amount of in villa games as they seem to bond the islanders well!